Thursday 10 July 2014

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for a bithday to remember 2014

Well here we go again, we are both now closer to 50 than 40. 

No I say, as part of my birthday powers bestowed upon me in my imagination I have decreed that I am 44, not 46.

This of course means that the Light of my life is now also 44 and not 46 and that the kids all made mistakes in their cards this year, who’s 46? Not us.

 Of course we all want to grow to the oldest age possible, and while doing it be fit, mobile, healthy and not snookered by Sudoku. I of course am happy growing old (very old in fact, along with my Darling may we one day be in accordance with the previous statements and not looking like prunes (is a panda’s bum now an appropriate description?)

Anyhow, our birthday has been and gone. This year, like last year, we promised ourselves that we would not buy each other pressies, very grown up. We did however buy ourselves a board game that the five of us could play together during forced family time (there is no such thing really; our kids are still at the age where they want to spend time with us). 

So there we are, our birthday, a Saturday morning a very busy day ahead of us with sport, little Em has a hockey tournament to boot. We would not get to open our present until later in the day. 

It’s now later in the day, Little Em would be off to hockey soon. “Let’s open our present” said my Darling.  Ok then, sitting at the table, looking at the little pile of presents thinking to myself “what the h@ll have I done? Where are all of the flippin’ presents?  I’m not ready to be grown up” 

My Darling of course did get me a couple of pressies, and I got her one as well.  I ordered my Darling’s pressie online the week before, she knows what it is, she paid for it (that’s her department). She seemed a bit miffed when it arrived via courier and when she asked if I was going to wrap it up and I said “what for”. I thought the yellow courier pack was very colourful..... I very quickly realised my error and wrapped the present (Or should I say little Em did....)

My pressies from Her were some star trek socks (very smart, too good for work, unfortunately my safety shoes will put holes in them by the end of the day).  I immediately put on the science officer socks. The other pressie was some star trek  jammies. They look like James T Kirk’s uniform (very commandly if I say so myself). I now think of it as James T Kirk is running around in my jammies, how embarrassing for him. 

The kids all created wonderful cards (even though they mistakenly thought we were 46) and pooled their money to buy a movie voucher for us both to go on a date to the pictures. 

Thank goodness Catherine and the Girls didn’t get the memo and we got cool pressies and home made cards (you have to love home made cards).

After the hockey tournament we all had a lovely dinner.

OK now it’s  time for the captainly command jammies. I must say after looking at myself in the mirror I look quite the part. The light of my life has a lovely smile on her face as we get ready for bed. The jammies didn’t seem to work correctly, even though I look the part it seems I am still not in charge....

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for being showered with pressies

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for bandy lipped smiles


She is so beautiful, her smile so infectious, you know we are compatible as evidenced by the fun we have and how easy it is for each of us to make the other laugh.

It’s difficult to explain, there’s a laugh and smile that is the type of laugh that is at the point of being difficult to curtail, in my Darlings case this is the bandy lipped smile. (And never to be confused with the panda’s bum...)

The Light of my life has wonderful lips, as you can no doubt tell from the various pictures scattered about this blog, I will comment no more an how wonderful they look and feel (kiss kiss).

When my darling laughs her “I am finding this incredibly funny” type smile her lips all but disappear, stretching into a bandy lipped smile.

The other night she seemed obsessed that everyone had a fork with their dinner.

Daniel was asked first, eating his chips with his fingers “Dan, have you got a fork” “Pardon” “have you got a fork” repeated my Darling (Our kids seem to be selectively deaf, case in point, last night Dan was listening to his ipod with headphones on and little Em from across the room asked him in her normal inside voice, “ would you like a bowl of icecream?” Dan replied without looking up “yes please”)..... 

“HAVE YOU GOT A FORK? “....No headphones, No reply “Do you need to get a fork”? Eventually Dan said “yes I have a fork” in a what’s the big deal type of voice, and held up his fork as proof.
 That seemed to please my Darling, it seemed as long as we have a fork on standby for emergencies, perhaps an unexpected visitor, we can quickly switch to civilised cutlery wielding people and eat accordingly. 

About five minutes later, “Sam do you have a fork?” I looked at Samantha eating her burger, and back at my Love wondering what is she going on about? So I asked her “What’s the obsession with forks at the moment? Do you have a new job we should know about? Are you on commission?”

“Sam” I said, “have you got a fork, Daniel has, I have, do you”?
  “Yes” said Sam holding it up

“There, we all have forks” Bandy lips, a beautiful sight.  

Of course I am still not sure why forks were all of a sudden key to the burger and chips meal, my Darling also admitted later that she was also picking up her chips and not using her fork (assuming of course she had one, she didn’t after all hold it up for viewing and proof......)

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for his bandy lipped Darling

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for a boys day in


Ok, so It’s Friday and my Darling and my flock of the fairer sex are going to be out on Saturday for the day.

Little EM is going to a girl guides camp cook thing to help someone prepare for a badge, and the Light of my life and Sam are going to take the opportunity to go shopping (shopping for things that boys don’t consider to be fun..).
 “Would you like to come?” asked my Darling.
“Shall we go shopping with mum, Daniel”? I enquired.
We both probably had a slightly glazed look in our eyes at the thought…..  “No Thanks”,  this sounds like the chance for a boys day in! Xbox, chippies, ginger beer and no girls.  Dan seemed almost as excited as I am.  Dan explained to Isis, “sorry, you’ll have to wait outside, no girls” That’s a bit harsh I thought, surely a dog is exempt?  

Anyway, part of the excitement for me is being able to have the sound level more than one click away from mute.  In fact, if the sound level could be half a click away from mute it would probably end up being set there.  I’m not suggesting I am getting old or having trouble hearing but let’s just say if I moved close enough to the TV to hear it, I would no longer be able to see it properly, it would be too close….  Yeah, we will be able to hear the game….
Boys day in tomorrow Dan….

Saturday arrived.  “Boys day in Dad” said Dan.

“Yes, I’m going to have a shower and then we can go and buy some chippies, ginger beer and a new game to play”
Now I’m all clean, and ready for the boys day in.  I go to the kitchen, ask my Darling “Where’s Dan” “he’s in the Lounge” was the reply. “Boys day in Dan” I said as I walked into the Lounge. Dan is folding washing into little piles. (You’ve got to love how my Darling likes to include everyone, there’s always a deal to be made)… Folding washing, not quite the start I was looking for…
The girls are now ready to leave, “Please get the washing in at lunchtime and put the oven on at 4.00pm so that it is ready for when I get home (to cook wedges etc. that my Darling would pick up on the way home)”. (Again, you’ve got to love how my Darling likes to include everyone, there’s always a deal to be made).   

Not quite the plan for a boys day in, washing + cooking. Yes I hear you dear reader, perfectly reasonable things to ask and not a big thing to do. However dear reader, if you do think this then you do not really understand a boys day in, it’s just not part of a boys day in.

We went to the shop, bought the boys day in goodies, we also bought the dinner stuff and a few extra bits so my Darling did not have to stop on the way home (Yes, I agree, very sensitive and  thoughtful).  We also bought two copies of plants v zombies garden warfare to play and went home.
Yeah, boys day in, Isis, you can stay inside.

“Daniel, set up the Xboxes for the oncoming excitement” I said.
We cracked open a bottle of ginger beer and sat down to play. “hang on a mo, I just need to ring mum”
“Hi, just wanted to let you know we have dinner items, there’s no need to stop on the way home” I said. “Are you having a good time?”
“Yes” said the Light of my life, I have just bought a cool handbag that’s not that expensive now but was before I bought it (something like that anyway). That’s good I said I’m pleased you are having fun, it’s just that it’s a boys day in, and we’ve already started by folding washing, we are primed to take washing in at lunch time (I have set the timer on the oven to remind me, you know when you are in the heat of battle….), we are going to heat the oven and start dinner, and now we are talking about hand bags……..

So there we are playing xbox, chippies half gone first bottle of ginger beer finished (we do love that stuff) and there’s a beeping in the distance. I don’t think that was my zombie making that noise… “Why’s the oven timer on?” asked Dan.
“Come on, let’s get the washing in.”

Yeah, boys day in……

Right that’s done, back to the gaming.
I’ve always fancied myself as a bit of a gamer. Whatever game we play, Dan is always better than me. Case in point, at the end of the day I finished on level 6 with 8 achievements, on plant v zombies, Dan level 9, with 9 achievements. It’s a rare occasion when I do manage to beat him at something.  I’ve been playing xbox since before he was born, what’s going on? Why is he so much better than I am? I use to be able to run rings around him, but now the reverse is true, ever since he mastered the controller he can run rings around me, I do believe he mastered the controller at about 5 years old….
Still, I really enjoy playing with him, and I like it more when he is on my side…..

Yeah, boys day in….

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for a little valentine's


It’s the 14th February again, Valentine’s day once again..

Now we’ve all done it. I know we have bought all sorts of presents, cards and flowers and given them to girlfriends/spouses or significant others.  Roses for example are just ridiculously priced on that day.

I know people who are my age (ahem, let’s not discuss that, I can’t cope with it) and are still buying roses, going out for dinner, jewellery etc. and making a big fuss. I can also see that they really enjoy it, so I agree for them it makes them happy so it’s a great day.  I know a lot of people who tend to think more along our lines as well.

My Darling and I are of the opinion that the day is not a big deal, we can’t believe how ridiculous prices get so we just sort of ignore it. It’s Valentine’s day every day for us. (I hope she really believes that and there isn’t a little princess within her rocking backwards and forwards sobbing “why won’t he buy me ridiculously expensive roses?”) is the “Every day is Valentines day” line the mantra of the unromantic and the cheapskate?  I hope not.

On the morning of the 14th we woke up, rolled over in bed, and said to each other “happy Valentine’s day”, I stumbled out of bed and into the shower. I couldn’t even tell you if my Darling opened her eyes, I certainly didn’t.

At the aquarium that I work, I was told about a few Valentines’ day plans, “going out to lunch at Subway” (Pardon I initially thought, Subway?), she continued, “that’s where we first met….” Now that is Valentiney. Flowers, dinner plans etc. “ahhh young love (and some not so young love…).
I told them:
“My only regret was that I mistakenly filled my Darling’s card up with red and silver glitter, and now when I get home I have to do the vacuuming” I continued,
“in the card was a voucher for dinner and a voucher to stay the night in Wellington  at a fancy place”, very Valentiney everone was thinking. “My Darling was very excited, and when she is away, I am going to play xbox with Daniel”……

When I got home from work I made the Light of my life and I a cup of coffee and because it was such a lovely day outside we went into the garden to sit down to have a drink and a chat. Now that’s sort of Valentiney isn’t it? Yes it could be considered romantic, however, we do that quite often now days, especially in the weekend (assuming it’s a nice day) since we have done the garden up a bit and it is no longer depressing to be out there.  So perhaps it doesn’t meet the gesture requirements of the day?  We don’t do it once a year.

We were having a lovely moment together my Darling looked at me and asked me what I was thinking.
I said to her in my most thought provoking, soul searching voice combined with a look that matched,
“On this most romantic day of Valentines’, I have been watching you smile and realising that your happiness is possibly my main reason for being.  So I have been internalising a few thoughts and searching my soul to discover if there could be a way I could make your life any better or happier?”
I then received the most beautiful smile (perhaps that was my Valentine ’s Day pressie?) and the Light of my life said “there is nothing”.
SOOO I am a romantic after all and supremely Valentiney, I told my Darling “That’s good, that’s exactly what I got you for Valentines……”

Svelte Chicken Lives…. for making my Darling happy.

Svelte Chicken Lives... for a little hidden talent


Today we decided to spend some time hitting a hockey ball around.

Angry Chicken thought it was a great idea and wanted to come.

Driving to Hockey…..

Angry Chicken spent the first few minutes in the dug out watching us..

Then decided to join in, Goalie, the only position he could try really..


The Shot:

Not enough oomph, technically a save, well done Angry Chicken! (Still, little Em didn’t want to knock the stuffing out of Angry Chicken)

In the wild…

A good time was had by all, little Em can really hit the ball well/hard with her new hockey stick. I am looking forward to the next hockey season.

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for our dark knight


Because he’s the hero we deserve, but not the one we need right now…. So we’ll hunt him, because he can take it, because he’s not our hero, he’s a silent guardian. A watchful protector. An angry chicken…..

Happy Chicken….

Angry Chicken……..

The Dark Knight…….

After the Dark Knight……

A Watchful Protector……

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for a little bit of grinch

Well just like that the Christmas tree is up, and yes, we listened to the same five songs while we were doing it, got to love the Christmas CD….

We have once again recoded the Christmas tree being decorated for prosperity, everyone is looking so much bigger.

In fact when we took our photo in front of the tree this year it is now completely blocked. Even the light of my life has been blocked by the kids standing in front of her, we need more thought and planning next year. Still, the tree looks magnificent once again, you’ll have to take my word for it.

This year we tried something different for the Christmas photo. I wanted to get a shot with everyone doing a grinch smile (a bigger version of a little shits smile, if you don’t know me, you will not understand this, I know Grandma does….). Sure, it’s nice to have a “normal” family photo, nicely posed, perfect smiles, me I like something a little bit different.

Sammy couldn’t get her mind (or her mouth for that matter) around it. My Darling got it, unfortunately you can’t see her. Sammy had the opposite of the desired grinch smile, a beautiful big smile. The whole attempt was a complete fail, but very funny.

We were recording the action on video in an attempt to get the perfect photo. We ended up with a very funny video, and a lot of blurry pictures (too much movement while laughing)

I must say Little Em is a natural, instantly into a beautiful grinch smile, held for rather a long time and coupled with a slightly creepy eyeball stare. (little Em really threw herself at the concept)
And here is Em
1,2,3 Grinch…..

Sammy as a grinch, I would have to say hopeless. Daniel I think has gone for a super hero pose, normally he is quite intelligent, really,  pathetic grinch Daniel…. My darling, would have had a beautiful grinch smile, but blocked by Sammy, next year I will either give my darling a leg up, or perhaps permit her to sit on top of the tree (she would make a fabulous Christmas angel)..
All in all we haven’t got the picture I was looking for yet so we may have to try again later, perhaps Christmas Day.

Here is the best shot we managed of all of us.

Doesn’t the tree look fantastic.
Merry Christmas.

Svelte Chicken Lives…. for a little grinch related laughter

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for Christmas lists


It’s nearly that time again, yahoo, one month to go to the best dinner of the year….

Of course it means another year has almost gone by, which is a bit sad, still it’s nearly time for Christmas bacon and eggs with Grandma and Granddad for breakfast and a Christmas dinner and dessert later in the day. I am normally too full to really enjoy dessert though.

We normally have a glazed ham, which of course I am a major player in creating. (Don’t believe my Darling if she tries to convince you that all I have done is basted the ham once while cooking…..) and a big chicken cooked in beer and secret herbs and spices (I don’t cook the chicken….) The beer gives it a Christmas flavour (and that’s basically the only time we do this so that it is special). We also have lots of yummy veggies.  Everybody likes Chicken…..

On to the lists, it’s that time again and everyone is preparing their lists.
For the record, here is my current list in order of priority:
1) Happiness (Of course….)
2) Chippies (Burger rings + any other chippies I am not ordinarily allowed to eat)
3) shortbread biscuits iced and decorated by my lovely children (I like orange icing please…)
4) Spork (Don’t ask me why, I would like an orange one if possible please.)

5) bright socks (the brighter the better, you can’t after all have bright socks day on Sunday if you have no bright socks)
6) Sauces (especially hot chilli sauces)
7) A little soft squishy pillow (For resting my hand while playing xbox games, otherwise my hand gets a bit sore. yes it’s a bit pathetic I know. I would like a manly camouflaged pillow so that I no longer have to use little Em’s frilly pink heart)
8 ) A pack of ginger beer
9 ) A pack of chilli and lime coated cashew nuts
10) White chocolate

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for the challenge of Soduku


Pardon? those of you that know me may be thinking, Soduku? that’s not a tv program or movie, it’s in a book, what’s he on about?

Soduku has been a tradition in our house hold for some time now, at least I think it has, I’m not too sure really…

A soduku moment is a term that the light of my life and I use when you can’t recall what you want to say, or even funnier (or more sad depending on your point of view!) when you insert the wrong word into a conversation, or you trip over your tongue trying to get it out… a soduku moment.

It must be an age thing, I mean I still think of myself as one of the brighter sharper tools in the shed, perhaps if I was a garden fork one of my tines is a bit blunt? Now there’s a soduku beating word to use, tines, all is not lost….

I asked the light of my life if she feels if she is not quite as sharp a tool as she once was, still of course a very pretty tool (I’m beginning to rust). I think I am beginning to lose it a bit. I think I should do some soduku puzzles to keep sharp. Thus the term soduku moment was born.

A few examples for you…..

I am putting up a fence in the back garden, a massive manly type fence. I am on my knees leaning down a fence post hole, passing the phone back behind me to my lovely wee girl, little Em. I go back to digging and Little Em goes to take the phone inside. I think I had better keep it out with me so I can hear it ring. I call out “Emily, would you please leave the phone outside”. “Where?” said Em. “Put it on the…” “The…” “The….  ” now is this because I am half down a hole? is the blood rushing to my head, or has the word not yet been created for the outside metal thing that we always use in summer to cook our sausages and steaks on? “Barbeque please”

When either my Darling or I have a moment, it just takes a look from the other person and we are both laughing, one of us just says “soduku?” or “shall I get the soduku puzzles?”

The light of my life saw me sitting down to use the PC (to type this in) I had our password book with us (why are there so many passwords?…..) Curious my Darling asks me “What are you up to?” “Nothing much” “Why do you have your passport?” soduku anyone?

Last night after dinner the light of my life made the kids a chocolate icecream (yummy). When we went to bed I went to the fridge then asked her if she was intending to turn 1/2 a container of chocolate icecream into chocolate milk?….. She looked at me puzzled, “shall I put the tub of icecream into the freezer”?  soduku…

The next morning I was sitting out in the garden with my darling (a nice sunny still day, absolutely magic) Sammy came out to see us. I went into the house to make her a coffee milo. When I came out, in order to relive the previous night soduku I said to Sammy (she was sitting next to my Darling) “I was nearly able to offer you a glass of cold slightly thick chocolate milk”…. Both Sammy and the light of my life looked confused. here comes the punchline.. “Mum put the icecream in the fridge last night before she went home” What the….? where did the word “home” come from? she was going to bed? Perhaps it really is time to hit the soduku puzzles….

Svelte Chicken Lives…. for the challenge of soduku

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for there still being signs of youth


Being youthful at heart and the happiness this can bring, is in my opinion very important.

Happy Birthday Samantha!

15 today, growing up so fast. So what have I noticed that’s different this year?

The first thing is not being woken up early in a frenzy
“it’s my birthday get up”….. In fact I slept in to about 7.45 am, I woke up under my own steam, thirsty. I wouldn’t have minded one of my beautiful ladies waking me up with a cup of tea. Everyone in the house is now able and safe to make a hot cup of drink. My beautiful boy is also capable of making a cup of tea but the chances of him thinking it while he is lying in his bed playing on his ipod or xbox is extremely slim… So I got up, get dressed, walked into the kitchen and Sam was there walking towards me, lovely big smile on her face and we had a big hug. She told me she was just coming in to slip into bed with me and wake me up (A sign of youth…..) Hang on a minute then I said, and turned and went back to bed. I pretended to be asleep and Sam slipped in to bed and Sam woke me up, what a nice surprise, happy birthday Samantha……

The second is that there are fewer presents..
A fact of life, the older you are, the more expensive the gifts, the fewer you get. Yes it’s logical, yes everyone is always happy with what they get and no I can’t handle the fact there are fewer presents (it’s my issue, I need to deal with it…..) Not much sign of youth here (except perhaps me) fewer presents and people still happy ….

The third is that when I came back into the kitchen (presents are on the kitchen table) Samantha is sitting down at the table drinking a cup of tea. Not much sign of youth here, slight feeling of being sorry for myself.

The fourth sign…
For the last couple of years ” why can’t I have another piercing in my ears? my friends do etc. etc.” two signs of youth here, Too young for two holes in your ear (in our opinion) and the “persistence” (I will leave it at that, Sam can read). Well today the light of my life took Samantha as a surprise to get her ears pierced again, she has just come back, my goodness sam has a lovely smile, her eyes light up. Ears now pierced twice, Not much of a sign of youth here either…

The fifth sign
We always record Birthday present openings in the same way, we have a bench seat at the table, the birthday person sits in the middle, the other two kids sit one each side. A wonderful way to show the passage of time (slight groan…..). ”
Can I sit and open my presents here?”. Pardon? there’s a tradition here, move to the present opening position…… In fact the kids don’t know yet that when they are grown up and flown the nest (crikey there’s a thought …) I still want a video of them opening their presents sent to me…..

The sixth sign
(I’m going to stop here because “the sixth sign” sounds kind of cool)
One of the presents she really wanted was a pair of eyeore onesies. Need I say more?

Svelte Chicken Lives…. for there still being signs of youth (thank goodness!)

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for a little oxymoron

A beautiful Saturday morning and time once again for kids sport.

The winter sports season is all but finished, in fact for Sammy it has. Daniel’s game was at golden duck park (named after a summer cricket season a couple of years prior, where he got you guessed it, a golden duck) and Emily’s was at the hockey fields at Maidstone. Daniel’s game started at 9.00 am and Emily’s at 10.00 am. So that meant that I could watch the first half of Daniel’s game before taking little Em to her game.

Svelte Chicken Lives for watching his kids scoring and saving goals, isn’t that an oxymoron? Well in this case, Emily scores goals, Daniel is a goal keeper, he needs to save them.

I really enjoyed the first half of Daniel’s game, he saved quite a few goals. I am told that in the second half he also saved a lot of goals. His team won 1-0. Daniel got player of the day. The photos will not do justice to the saves, I am not exactly the best at taking photos, and it is difficult to watch the game from behind a camera. (At least I remembered the camera this time).

The following shot went over the post, Daniel had it covered, and you can see he is ready for it…..

At half time Emily and I went to her game.
Emily also had a good game, she got stuck right in, tackling, passing, she scored a goal. I really enjoyed watching her play. Emily’s team won 6-1 and Emily was also awarded the player of the day. Two players of the day, wonderful.

I didn’t get as many photos of little Em, I found myself watching the game and forgetting about the camera. I did however get quite a few pictures of her at golden duck park feeding the ducks. It’s been a couple of years and apart from today, I have never remembered to take bread to feed the ducks. (I love feeding ducks).

On the way to her game we talked about how much fun it was feeding the ducks. We also commented how much we enjoyed pie park. I said that pie park was extra special.  It’s great fun watching your children play sport. It’s even more fun when there is a bakery near the park and you make it a tradition every time Daniel plays there we have a pie. mmmmm pies and other savoury goodies.
In my case I can’t get past a steak and kidney pie mmmmmm. OK getting a bit carried away by the thought of pies. Back to the photos….

The following pictures are before and just after Emily’s goal

And finally, feed those Ducks…..

Svelte Chicken Lives…. For a most enjoyable morning.

Mmmmmm steak and kidney pies……..

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for the girl reaching double digits


It’s Little Em’s birthday next Wednesday (14th August).

She told me she is now going to be double digits. Yes, she is going to be 10.

Today she is going to have a party with a few of her friends. She is of course excited. Emily and her friends are going to ice cupcakes (among a number of fun activities). The light of my life baked a lot of cup cakes yesterday (I can confirm they are yummy…) and my Darling and Em went shopping and bought all sorts of fancy icing, decorations, piping bags etc. It looks like it’s going to be a creative day, some of the icing looks like modelling clay. I am going to see if I can create a svelte chicken cupcake. Whatever the outcome, at least it will taste good.

Little Em is really looking forward to her birthday. She will get to choose what she has for her birthday dinner. Em has similar tastes to me, hopefully it will be Chinese food. For her party today the food will be nibbly type food, sausage rolls and other types of pastries, chippies, sandwiches etc. and of course cake and cupcakes.

My Darling has bought cup cake boxes with lids that have a window in them. The boxes can fit 6 cupcakes in them.  People will be able to take their creations  home with them in style.

I don’t think my creation will last long enough to be placed into a box……

Svelte Chicken lives…. for being smitten for the girl reaching double digits.

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for her what are too big?


When did that happen?

We are going out tonight and while getting dressed Sammy is trying out some of my Darling’s dresses that she use to wear when she was younger ( about 21). Sammy comes out in a black dress and looks absolutely amaizing. I may post a picture if I can bring myself around to admiting she is growing up.

My Darling comes in and says do you remember when I used to wear that (My darling not me..) Can’t say as I do, and I can’t get the image of Sammy in it out of my mind so there is no way at the moment I am going to remember or picture the light of my life in that dress.

Following that comment, my Darling says “I have another dress that I used to wear when I was a bit younger, Sammy can’t wear it her boobs are too big” Pardon, when did that happen, isn’t she only five?……

I am now feeling a bit old.

They are both of course laughing at my reaction. My Darling said to Sammy “Look at Dad’s face, quick go put your onesies on”

Onesies, yes she looks younger in those jammies, I think I am beginning to feel a bit better.

Svelte Chicken Lives…. for being completely overwhelmed

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for where's my shirt and undies?

OK I thought it was due to true love.

Or it is what is normally done by wives all around the world… It sounds like it should be to me, and I’m sure you will agree.
Perhaps it is part of the contract we signed when we became married? I don’t recall seeing the clause, perhaps it was in the fine print. My Darling was such a lovely sight and so happy I could have signed anything, I don’t really know what I signed. Perhaps I was such a lovely sight and she too signed without reading, and then at some later date someone informed her of the clause and what needs to be done?

Surely it’s part of normal married life, the man doing manly things, huntin’ and a gatherin’ and the lady in total admiration for her man doing manly things doing things to make his life easier. Not meaning to sound sexist of course, we are both really a huntin’ and a gatherin’ in our household and we do things for each other. My Darling just sees it as what needs to be done, rather as how I see it as being a manly thing to do and being triumphantly triumphant.

Anyhow, the light of my life has been getting my undies and shirt out for me at night so that I am ready to go to work in the morning ( I find undies and shirts quite important). Get your own flippin’ clothes out I hear some of you say, I know of course you don’t really mean it…..
Isn’t this normal behaviour? I would think all of her friends do this sort of thing as well…… The topic came up just a moment ago with my Darling and eldest Daughter, it seems that it isn’t necessarily her total devotion/love for me or a requirement of our contract that this wonderful act of kindness and helping is performed. It seems that I am flippin’ hopeless and if it was left to me I would spend the first few minutes of each work day banging and crashing, disturbing my Darling saying “where are my flippin undies?” this may be more about my Darling controlling her environment than true love and devotion?

Does this mean that having my sandwich made for me in the morning is also at risk? Surely other wives make their husbands a vegemite sandwich out of true love and devotion?
Of course I realise that my Darling is super special and I am very lucky how well she looks after me. I hope you have someone in your life like that.

Svelte Chicken Lives…. for the lady who controls my shirts and undies and makes a yummy vegemite sandwich

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for his txting buddy


I’ve never really found the need or understood the attraction towards texting.

The Light of my Life is a txtn wiz, so is my eldest Daughter. My Darling has been texting since phones were the size of bricks. If she wanted to she could lift me up off the ground with either of her thumbs. It’s impossible to beat her in a thumb war competition, her thumbs wiggle at near the speed of light and as she traps your thumb firmly to your hand she has tapped out “beaten you again, try harder” in texting language down the back of your thumb.

My Darling will often sit there in the evening and fire of a few texts at incredible speed, so fast that I don’t have time to get annoyed. Now she has our main email delivered to her phone “you got mail” it keeps exclaiming with excitement. I occasionally ask who are you texting/what was the email, I think she is organising a coup (not a chicken coup) the kind where she and her army of soccer/hockey/netball mums/friends take over Upper Hutt and declare her Supreme Commander.

My Darling and my eldest Daughter love the technology and I must say it does help keep them in touch. One evening the weather was quite bad, windy cold raining etc. it was late in the evening and my beautiful Daughter needed my Darlings help (after all the weather was very bad). So in came the text and Mum went to help her out. Technology in this type of instance is a boon. Perhaps though a text was not necessary, Sammy was in her bedroom, and Mum was in the Lounge….

Anyhow, when I text I hate the predictive stuff, so I don’t use it. I want to be able to spell the word incorrectly first time on my own. My wee android screen sometimes has me at the verge of twisting it like you do the end of a lollie wrapper as I struggle to type…

jkme spll <<<< backspaces to correct
hpme sioj <<<< backspaces to correct
homr sopn <<<< backspaces to correct
jome siim <<<< backspaces to correct
home soom <<<< backspaces to correct
home soon

I am normally sitting in my car at work, engine on, waiting to send a quick text to alert my darling family to stop being naughty and begin to act like little happy angels. I am litteraly 2km away from my house, a carrier/homing pigeon would be on its way back to me before I get a chance to hit the send button.

Anyway, the last few weeks the timing for the kids sport has clashed it has meant that my Darling and I have not been at the same sporting event. We have instead become txtn buddies. The occasional txt through the sporting event, a bit of a giggle here and there has been good fun. I suppose I can see that txting in that circumstance is good. There must be a problem with my phone though, I seem to receive txts and replies a lot faster than my phone sends them?

Svelte Chicken Lives…. for his txting buddie + txting at Saturday morning sport (I would rather be with her though….)

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for chicken and pastry

My lovely Sister.

August 2013

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for there always being one in a family


There is always one in any family……

Where’s wally?
Photos taken by Pastry, and nicked from her facebook page by a Svelte Chicken.

Svelte Chicken Lives… for his wonderful family, it’s a shame that Stacey isn’t in this picture. Still I will remember (thanks to this) that she is there and having a good old giggle.

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for the game of life


Pastry is on holiday in New Zealand for a month from the UK.

Grandma and Pastry have come to our house for a visit. We had Chinese food for dinner, which was most yummy.

I am sitting in the lounge listening to Grandma, Stacey, Sammy and little Em play one of Stacey’s favourite games, the game of life.

Stacey was saying that it has been a couple of years since she has played a board game with her kids, I guess the time will come when ours will not be too interested in playing board games either.

There has been a great deal of laughter coming from the dining room.

I have really enjoyed listening to how much fun they are having.

I probably should have played with them…..

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for a birthday to remember 2013


Well just like that our birthday has been and gone, left in its wake is the fact we are now both 45….

This can’t be, soon I am going to count the years to verify. My darling made the comment that together we were 90! I was surprised, I didn’t realise she was 55.

What an excellent idea, we both decided to take the day off from work and spend our birthdays together. The light of my life and I went to the movies at 10am (when everyone else is at work/school (tee hee)) to see man of steel. We booked a few days before hand (which is kind of funny, especially when we went to pick up our tickets and the movie man said we could sit any where except the two seats he had just sold (with a smile on his face). It was fantastic being able to play when you should be working. I have a thing for superman films, always have. I personally really enjoyed it. I can’t believe Superman killed Zod though. I do understand why, and after searching the net realise he has in the comic books done the same, still it was a surprise to me. It was a most enjoyable film, I will definitely buy the movie when it is released.

We also went into Wellington to see the Phantom of the Opera, we both also thoroughly enjoyed it, they did a wonderful job, it was worth every penny. Before the show we went to dinner, which was also very nice. It was quite a full on day for us, unusually so and most enjoyable.

I also got some wonderful presies and have now polished off most of my chippies, and am left with a pack of Burger Rings, yum yum.

I do believe we have a new tradition, to take our birthdays off and have a play day. I suppose this year will be a hard one to top, having the Phantom of the Opera playing on our birthday was a one off, I wonder what will be on next year?………

So all in all I give the birthday experience this year a 9.5 out of 10…….  I did not give it a perfect score because I did not want half a bloody washing machine….

Svelte Chicken Lives.... because of May Drummond

I moved with my family to New Zealand in 1974. Nan came out to NZ a couple of times. Although I was young I can still remember and picture her.

Two things I can clearly remember:
Nan cooking Stacey and I boiled eggs and buttie soldiers, watching the wrong hand on the clock (hours not minutes) and the resulting eggs being so hard that the soldiers were unable to be dipped. I can remember thinking it seemed to be taking ages, and Nan putting butter into the yoke to give us something to dip into. Stacey was not happy..

Playing cards with Nan. Nan loved to play card games, I can’t remember how to play them now (names like twopence halfpenny (excuse spelling)) I do remember having a great time and being able to see her cards reflected in her glasses…… I can remember her face when she figured it out.

This is a picture of me with my Nan

Svelte Chicken Lives.... because of his Mum and Dad

I owe my very existence to two very special people…
My mum:

And my Dad:

My Mum with Dad’s Mum and Dad:

My Dad with his Mum and Dad:

And together: