Thursday 10 July 2014

Svelte Chicken Lives.... for running with the pack


Time for walkies….

The light of my life and I accompanied with our two dogs went for another walk last night.
The dogs now have a couple of fancy new slip leads, Isis’ is blue and Loki’s is red. Very nice, if not a bit stretchy. Apparently these are the type of leads that the dog whisperer uses, it is amazing what he can do/ get a dog to do so secretly I am hoping for great things, Isis still tends to pull a bit too much/often for my liking…

Normally they have a metal link common variety choke chain connected to a lead. These new leads seem quite light in comparison and must be more comfy to wear. They certainly look stylish.
So there we are walking along a different route to give variety (probably for us more than the dogs, they just love being out). When we go for a walk my darling normally walks Loki, and I walk Isis. We walked to a large open field that, although not suitable to let the dogs off the lead, would be fine for a bit of a brisk pace.

Fancying myself a finely tuned athlete and armed with the knowledge handed down to me from dog whisperers of old (through the power of the leads) I said to the light of my life to give me Loki’s lead, I am going to run with them both (I successfully did this when they were a lot smaller).

Isis in the left, Loki on the right, “Run” I took off with the dogs after about 5 metres Isis went left and Loki went right. From the back I would look like I was playing airplanes, or trying to be the perfect flying T. I corrected  both dogs, bringing them to the centre. This is pretty hard to explain, Loki went behind me and to the left, if he kept going and then went right he would tie me up and I would be flat on my face. I put my right arm behind me, slipped the lead off my right hand and moved it to my left, all the while running at top speed, which I must say not really being a finely tuned athlete is not that fast really. (It was fast for me though..).

Both dogs were now in my left hand and running nicely together. This was working rather well. My left arm, unfortunately was not strong enough to continue, so I swapped both leads to my right hand. Yes this was better, they are running nicely together, I don’t think I will get tied up, and although the lead is a bit stretchy, I have some control. Now I am thinking I am starting to get tired, so I had better run back to the light of my life.

“Where’s Mum”? I said to the dogs and steered them into a big loop so that we could race back to my Darling. Now I am beginning to think the dogs are getting even stronger, I have about 2% more speed left before I fall flat on my face (without being tied up around the ankles). My Darling is now getting bigger as we get closer, we get very close and now I am thinking I don’t think I am going to be able to stop…. My sweetheart is looking at me with a “why on earth are you running straight towards me you nut” look in her eyes. I am going to do a wonderfully close flyby, it’s going to be fantastic, the dogs want to run directly to Mum.

We get closer and both dogs stop gracefully at her feet and lie down, a split second later I kneel before my darling and say calmly, “my darling, We love you, the dogs seemed to enjoy that, we might go again”

Ok, so what happened was we got so close to Paula that I wasn’t able to do anything with grace. The dogs managed to side step Mum at the last minute, I swerved however, being more just keeping up with the dogs and being more pulled along, rather than a dog whispering athlete, I realised that my side was going to hit my darling. So I raised my right arm as high as I could (Short lead + dogs still running in line with Paula pulling my arm down…) I couldn’t lift my arm high enough to clear her.

My love, with the finely tuned reflexes of a possum or rabbit with its eyes caught in a bright light, motionless, what’s he up to?, the realisation of he is going to hit me…… too late, the moment to duck passed, and, with my arm outstretched I didn’t quite clear her and hit her on the top of the head and knocked her glasses off, they fell to the ground behind her….

It took me probably another 10 paces to completely stop. “Why didn’t you duck?” was the first thing I said, followed quickly by are you OK? (So I am not the smartest chicken on the block, perhaps I had the questions the wrong way around?) Thank goodness the light of my life wasn’t hurt.

Paula said the whole thing was very funny to watch and it looked like the dogs were having a fantastic time (you can almost swear they are smiling)

I certainly hope nobody got that on camera……

I love running wild and free….

PS Athlete, my A%$e, I was knackered…

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